Let me start this story like most of my work related stories: I had faith in humanity before I started working at Pencils. With that said, most Associates think the EasyWrecks get the dumbest of customers. I'm here to tell you that Office Supplies/Furniture is no picnic either. I've completely lost count of the times someone has asked me if we have something that we haven't carried in 20 years only to get this response: "You HAVE to carry it. This is Pencils!". Oh really Jackass?! We HAVE to carry it just because of your first grade logic that this is in fact Pencils and based on your assertion that we carry it, you expect me to wave a magic wand and make it appear right before your eyes? Fuck you.
Because the Pencils store I work in is small compared to the other stores in the area, we only stock about 3/4 of what the other stores carry. Which basically means none of the crappy impulse promo items that come in at random times of the year, that for some reason or another, people still seem to ask me if we carry it. This also means we don't stock File Cabinets in the store, yet we have displays of them. I love explaining this phenomenon to people. People always try to fight me to sell them a display model just because they "need it today". OK so you want me to sell you a display file cabinet that we've had in the store since the Mesozoic era and is probably going to fall apart the moment you put anything in it. Oh and you need help fitting it into your Prius after buying $600 worth of shit at Costco? You'd rather me not do the smart thing and order you a brand new one and have it shipped to you for free, just because you "need it today"? Again, fuck you.
With the ranting and raving aside, I have to share this one with you while we're on the subject of file cabinets.
The other night I had some dumbass call the furniture section. This is the conversation verbatim (or as close as I remember it)
Me: Furniture this is______. How can I help you?
Customer: Hi ______. This is _________. I got transferred to you because I'm looking for a replacement key for a file cabinet. I tried going to a locksmith and he couldn't help me. Do you sell those?
Me: Not in the store unfortunately. The closest thing we might have is a replacement lock that comes with a couple sets of keys but we only sell those online. Otherwise, you would need to contact the manufacturer for a replacement key.
Customer: [few moments of silence] Well who's the manufacturer?
Me: The company who made the file cabinet, there should be a logo or company name on the front of it.
Customer: You don't know who the manufacturer is?
Me: It could be anybody. There's several different companies out there.
Customer: But you don't have that information?
Me: No.
*click*
I don't think I need to comment on that. The idiocy speaks for itself.
Because the Pencils store I work in is small compared to the other stores in the area, we only stock about 3/4 of what the other stores carry. Which basically means none of the crappy impulse promo items that come in at random times of the year, that for some reason or another, people still seem to ask me if we carry it. This also means we don't stock File Cabinets in the store, yet we have displays of them. I love explaining this phenomenon to people. People always try to fight me to sell them a display model just because they "need it today". OK so you want me to sell you a display file cabinet that we've had in the store since the Mesozoic era and is probably going to fall apart the moment you put anything in it. Oh and you need help fitting it into your Prius after buying $600 worth of shit at Costco? You'd rather me not do the smart thing and order you a brand new one and have it shipped to you for free, just because you "need it today"? Again, fuck you.
With the ranting and raving aside, I have to share this one with you while we're on the subject of file cabinets.
The other night I had some dumbass call the furniture section. This is the conversation verbatim (or as close as I remember it)
Me: Furniture this is______. How can I help you?
Customer: Hi ______. This is _________. I got transferred to you because I'm looking for a replacement key for a file cabinet. I tried going to a locksmith and he couldn't help me. Do you sell those?
Me: Not in the store unfortunately. The closest thing we might have is a replacement lock that comes with a couple sets of keys but we only sell those online. Otherwise, you would need to contact the manufacturer for a replacement key.
Customer: [few moments of silence] Well who's the manufacturer?
Me: The company who made the file cabinet, there should be a logo or company name on the front of it.
Customer: You don't know who the manufacturer is?
Me: It could be anybody. There's several different companies out there.
Customer: But you don't have that information?
Me: No.
*click*
I don't think I need to comment on that. The idiocy speaks for itself.
Sounds like another at Pencils, people are so stupid
ReplyDeleteI work at furniture at Pencils too. I totally agree with you. The idiot customers ask me for display models ALL the time. I don't mind it so much when they ask me for chairs cause I can rebuild them in 20-30 minutes. However, I want to slap them in the face when they ask me for desks or bookshelves. I just wonder where they get the twisted logic to think we have the time to build new display models. Nowadays, when the customers ask me for display models, I often sarcastically tell them, "Sure you can have it... for $10,000." (Apparently there is a separate SKU for the display models, priced at $9999.99. Hence, you can get away with saying it, and vent some steam for the customer's idiocy in the process.) That statement either shuts up the ones that have no sense of humor, or it gets a good chuckle out of the ones that do. Either way, it changes the subject.
ReplyDeleteI would have given a few manufacturer's names: Hann, Hersh, or Pencils own brand. Yes, the customer is dumb because they could always go to the .com and see what brands we carry. But I think the answer "It depends on who the manufacturer is" just pissed the customer off. I read their next question as a statement of disbelief, as in "You can't name a single manufacturer?"
ReplyDeleteAnd then you said you couldn't ("No.") and so they hung up.
Just the other day I flipped over a file cabinet, for a customer, trying to find a number or manufacturer name and I didn't see anything.
I don't know if that's the case with ALL file cabinets, but if that had been the one they'd brought home and (provided it didn't come with a manual or papers) then they'd be in the odd position of asking for what kind of lock for what brand.
Anyway, my biggest pet peeve is when people come with their cars fully loaded up and expecting to get a piece of furniture stacked on top of their groceries.
"Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't think I was going to get so much before I came here!"
or
"I guess I should have come here first, ha ha ha!"
I don't even react anymore; I won't be in their driveway gingerly trying to remove a 40 lbs desk so my bread/eggs don't get smashed.