Customer Code Brown

As I was taking out my garbage this morning my neighbor Clark drove up and shouted out the window of his Lincoln SUV, "Mitch, I took a giant dump in your old store yesterday!" I knew there had to be more to the story, and one question was: Since we only live five minutes away from Pencils, why didn't he just come home instead of taking a crap in the hazardous waste site otherwise known as the Men's Bathroom at Pencils?
I got Clark to pull over and fill me in...
"I was out shopping with my wife for office supplies and we had just eaten a huge lunch. There was no way I could make it home! Well, I ran into the men's room and of course that fat, lazy manager of yours, Matt, was in the only stall grunting away while playing games on his smartphone. I waited a minute and there was no sign he'd be wiping-up anytime soon, so I ran out and was faced with my only option, using the ladies bathroom. Just then the cute assistant manager came out of the ladies room and asked me if there was a problem. I told her the toilet in the men's room was inoperable. She then told me to go ahead into the ladies bathroom and she'd stand by the door to make sure nobody came in. Well, now I'm ready to take a steaming dump and have to think about the girl standing outside the door waiting for me. With great gusto I finish up and coincidentally as I'm walking out of the ladies bathroom, Matt comes waddling out of the men's room. The cute manager then asks Matt if there is something wrong with the toilet in the men's room. He gives her a strange look and says, "NO! why are you asking?" Clark then tells me he walks away, gets in his car (where his wife has been waiting for him), goes home and takes a shower. End of story.