I WORK AT PENCILS: The Theory of Assholeitivity

Friday, April 15, 2011

The Theory of Assholeitivity

It never fails. Two minutes before my shift ends, in walks a guy who wants to buy a printer, but can't decide between the HP 6500 and the HP 6500A. Before he makes this life or death decision, he has to tell me all about his pending divorce and how his wife is bleeding him dry for alimony and child support. After he confessed he was a cross-dresser, she threw him out of their $2 million dollar waterfront mansion. He also can't understand why his teenage son won't talk to him. I tell him there is an advertisement in today's paper for 20% off all lingerie at Victoria's Secret. Ten minutes later, he finally decides on the HP 6500A.

2 comments:

morganApril 17, 2011 at 6:00 AM
Your understanding face brings out the best in people!!! LMAO
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UnknownApril 18, 2011 at 10:50 AM
What? You mean there's a sale at Victoria Secret and I'm sitting here on the couch reading a blog about a cross-dresser's problems? And what's worse is that the post is three days old. I may have already missed the all the good stuff at the sale. I'll bet that cross-dresser already beat me to the bargains!
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Mission Statement

I don't have a MBA from Harvard nor did I attend the Wharton School of The University of Pennsylvania. In fact, I barely graduated from high school, but I would like to meet the genius at PENCILS who came up with this business plan: Sell laptop computers and other high-end merchandise below cost to generate floor traffic, then rely on low paid, part-time employees to sell customers crap they don't need (expensive anti-virus software, Microsoft products, 3 Year Extended Service Plans and other add-ons) in hopes of generating a profit. These are my stories.