Monday, September 24, 2012


"I have rewards points but I don't have them with me."
"Why do I have like 4 different rewards cards, can you combine them?"
"I just recycled those ink cartridges though, why didn't the $2 come off my purchase?"
"Wheres my 10% off?"
"What do you mean my Back to School Savings Pass won't work on ink?"
"But the sign said it was an EASY rebate, I didn't know that meant I have to mail something."
"Can I return this ink? I don't have the receipt but only bought it a few weeks ago." (ink expired in 2004)
"Isn't there anyone on the floor to help me?"
"Why can't you just answer this (random technology/furniture related) question for me?"
"The sign really did say $3, I can show it to you?" (Sure! Let me just walk away from this drawer full of money, great idea!"
"It HAS TO be under that phone number."
"Why am I only getting $7.24 back on this return when the product costs $10?" ... "Because you used a coupon, therefore you did not pay the whole price." ... dumbfucks.
"Why do you need to see my card?"
"No, I don't have the receipt?"
"Can I use this rewards checks to buy gift cards?"
"Can I use my Staples gift card to buy other gift cards?"
"I need help finding an ink cartridge. Its a number 20. A brand? I don't know what brand it is, maybe Epson, Cannon, how should I know?"
"Do you sell this thing, that like... has a little thing on top of it, that clips into this other thing with wheels on the bottom of the... thing?"
"Rebate? Whats that? I have to mail something"... "Well you can go online, its very eas--", "Actually can I return it then?"
"What time do you close?" (at 8:58 on a Tuesday night).
"Theres no one else in computers that can help me?" 
"I can't find my debit card... I must have left it at the mall." (Well then get out of my fucking line and stop holding up all the other customers asshole). 
"Can you see if another store has it? It HAS to be a red folder, it can't be any other color." 
"Why can't I just get the $2 off my purchase now?"
"This coupon is perfectly fine, I bought it on ebay."
"Do you sell ink here?"
"Do you sell paper here?"
"Do you work here?"
"Is this register open?"
"Can I speak to one of those Geek Squad guys?"
"Rewards card? Oh I have one of those, but its not worth it, it doesn't do anything." (while spending $60 on ink and paper). 
"$129 for a calculator? Are you kidding me?" 

1 comment:

  1. me: Hi there, can I help you find anything?
    cust: Yeah I'm looking ... for... that thing... you put ... in an office *walks away*
    me: k.