Friday, October 28, 2011

It's Scary At Pencils

Leave to some genius in management to come up with the idea we should come to work dressed in Halloween costumes this weekend. As though some of the associates didn't look frightening enough (hung-over, withdrawals, etc.), now we have to come up with some half-assed attempt of pretending we're celebrating a satanic ritual to amuse our customers. I was looking around for an Adolph Hitler costume, but couldn't find one. I asked my manager Matt if he would object if I came to work tomorrow dressed as an Islamic cleric. "Please don't," he replied. So now I'm out looking for a Michael Jackson mask, or a Hannah Montana costume to wear tomorrow.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Pencils' Employees: A Revolving Door

Since I began my incarceration at Pencils over 7 months ago, over 2/3 of the original employees I worked with have either quit or been fired. The only consistency has been the assistant and general managers. I guess this shouldn't come as any surprise with management's reverse Robin Hood philosophy: steal from the poor (employees) and give to the rich (managers). This may seem like an exaggeration, but only the management is rewarded with benefits and bonuses, and a full-time job. The cost of training new associates, added to the cost of pilfered goods, only makes one wonder why would corporate not want to seek and retain honest, hard-working employees, and compensate them accordingly. Personally, I feel a bit reassured when I see the same employees year after year, mixing my paint or slicing 1/4 of hard salami at the local chain stores. That tells me something... unlike Pencils, where the faces constantly change.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Stand and Deliver: Take A Page From The Domino's Playbook

Since I was recently addressing the subject of the lackluster performance of Pencils' stock on a recent posting, I thought I'd point out a company whose shares have risen 233% over the past 3 years: Domino's Pizza. In 2009 Domino's management publicly admitted their pizza tasted like shit and set about doing something about it. Granted, Pencils doesn't sell pizza (and if they did, it would taste like shit), but acknowledging problems, listening to employees and customers, and being honest can go a long way with consumers, and company performance.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Occupy Pencils: A Thoughtful Comment

This is a comment left by a "I Work At Pencils" blog reader that I thought deserved to be highlighted.

It amazes me that this company is still around, or the doors haven't been beat down by the unions for the way we are treated. I have an idea that corporate might have some kind of idea how fucked it is to work for these retards that are our managers but they obviously don't give a flying fuck. Only the most cunning fuck sticks meet the grade to be a manager, and anyone with any common sense is pushed to the curb. Just last week I notified an assistant manager that corporate requires a background check for GM's. He just about shit because he has two felonies on his record. Really? WTF? I'm a college student being managed by a fuckin' crooked felon... and to top it off my my GM has been allowing and pushing people to work off the clock. Don't worry, the shit storm is coming soon for the bottom dwellers, and it going to be a big one. Ive counted over 124 hours of free labor for pencils so far, and its climbing fast. 

Signed, Anonymous

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Pencils' Executive ComPISSation

During the fiscal year of 2010, Pencils rewarded its CEO with over $15,000,000 in compensation, despite the fact the share price of Pencils stock was down 16% from the previous year. The 15 mil doesn't include the perks like life and health insurance, entertainment and travel expenses. If you have the good fortune of being a Pencils' associate, you can see where I'm going with all this. If not, bear with me and you'll find out. The CEO answers to the Board of Directors, and secondly to all the investors who have stupidly invested in a company that doesn't give a rat's ass about their employees. All these people care about is the "bottom line" and seeing the stock price rise. The stock price is based on several factors including sales and growth, projected earnings, etc. which doesn't happen without employees doing their job. Treat the employees like crap, and see where it all goes. I guess I should be happy with my $1.75 bonus this month.