Tuesday, September 20, 2011

"High" Tech

Catchin' a buzz in the Pencils' Break Room
Marty, one of the new hires in office supplies, seemed to be extremely irritable and I had to ask him what his problem was. "I didn't get any sleep last night. Pete called me at 2 AM and woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep." The Pete he was referring to is Pete, "The Crack-Head Tech" who is so amped up its a miracle he can hold a job, even at Pencils. I then asked Marty why the hell he gave Pete his cell number in the first place. "I guess it was a lapse of judgement," he replied. I then informed him he can block Pete's number, which everyone else at Pencils has already done. Pete's employment longevity is a testament to Pencils policy to help those less fortunate, even if they don't have any means of transportation, a previous criminal record, and a voracious drug habit. I'm not sure where someone with so many strikes against them can find meaningful employment these days. I've discussed Pete's "situation" with some of the other associates and the consensus ranges from pills and meth to alcohol and crack, or a combination thereof. The reason Pete has retained his employment was evident when I came into work today and Matt, my manager immediately confronted me. "Mitch, Pete had a $1700. basket last night! He sold the top end Toshiba, 3 year-extended, Microsoft Office Suite, HP 6500A printer, extra ink and some other shit." He was so excited he was starting to drool. Like I could give a rat's ass about any of this. Matt would obviously earn some extra bonus incentives from corporate and Pete still gets his $7.80 an hour. Forget "Undercover Boss," now I'm thinking we can get Pete on "Intervention" and get some positive publicity for Pencils.


  1. If pencils started drug testing the employees, they would lose half of their payroll.

    When I worked at orifice depot, most job interviews didn't come back when we gave them directions to the doc for a drug test.

    half of their payroll.

    When I worked at orifice depot, most job interviews didn't come back when we gave them directions to the doc for a drug test.

  2. They will hire just anyone, the Pencils on Santa Barbara has a few illegals working there, which they want to keep so no benefits or future lawsuits can be brought against the company.

  3. As a 'Pencils' manager, I've had to fight this type of employee for years. It took me years to finally convince HR it was okay to fire a cashier who had a stack of "final" write ups so large her personel file had to be kept in a 3" expandable file folder due to her constant tardies. This individual showed up late 9 out of every 10 days scheduled, with the 10th day being a call out. HR took 3.5 years to finally agree with me and get rid of her, but it was a lesson learned.. Why bother??

  4. we have a guy who hasn't showed up for work in a month ans was a terrible employee anyway, but HR won't let us fire him because they said that he might have a medical issue. He has never said that he did, but we have to keep him on the schedule just in case.

  5. Honestly, its not completely your manager's fault that this behavior or type of thing happens.
    Corporate beats the managers down every single day with dozens of emails, consisting of "daily" updates to remind us exact where our numbers are, followed by DMs and RVPs sending their own updates and and cries for improvement in whatever magical category is tickling their jollies that day.

    Example: The following morale building words of wisdom we recently received in regards to our lack of Tune Up+ sales for the week:

    Are you guys even using the right SKU????
    Call me NOW! This is unacceptable!

    Nevermind that we were over 6% ESP and pushing $1,500 in tech without any tune ups.
    Nevermind that we had already beaten weekly sales budget for the entire store and were barely into Thursday.
    Nevermind that we were down our SM because the DM had transferred him to another store due to a manager quitting there.
    Nevermind that GM and OM were left with NO other keyholders (CSL vacation) and we were already facing staffing shortage.

    So, yeah, when that one associate comes in 20 mins late, unshaven, clearly hung over and barely able to function, yet somehow ends the day getting 4 or 5 Tune Up +'s signed up and paid for, you are damned right nothing bad is going to be said to him, because at the end of the day, he did the one thing that got the DM off of our backs long enough to breath and actually try to enjoy our jobs.