Let me start this story like most of my work related stories: I had faith in humanity before I started working at Pencils. With that said, most Associates think the EasyWrecks get the dumbest of customers. I'm here to tell you that Office Supplies/Furniture is no picnic either. I've completely lost count of the times someone has asked me if we have something that we haven't carried in 20 years only to get this response: "You HAVE to carry it. This is Pencils!". Oh really Jackass?! We HAVE to carry it just because of your first grade logic that this is in fact Pencils and based on your assertion that we carry it, you expect me to wave a magic wand and make it appear right before your eyes? Fuck you.

Because the Pencils store I work in is small compared to the other stores in the area, we only stock about 3/4 of what the other stores carry. Which basically means none of the crappy impulse promo items that come in at random times of the year, that for some reason or another, people still seem to ask me if we carry it. This also means we don't stock File Cabinets in the store, yet we have displays of them. I love explaining this phenomenon to people. People always try to fight me to sell them a display model just because they "need it today". OK so you want me to sell you a display file cabinet that we've had in the store since the Mesozoic era and is probably going to fall apart the moment you put anything in it. Oh and you need help fitting it into your Prius after buying $600 worth of shit at Costco? You'd rather me not do the smart thing and order you a brand new one and have it shipped to you for free, just because you "need it today"? Again, fuck you.

With the ranting and raving aside, I have to share this one with you while we're on the subject of file cabinets.

The other night I had some dumbass call the furniture section. This is the conversation verbatim (or as close as I remember it)
Me: Furniture this is______. How can I help you?
Customer: Hi ______. This is _________. I got transferred to you because I'm looking for a replacement key for a file cabinet. I tried going to a locksmith and he couldn't help me. Do you sell those?
Me: Not in the store unfortunately. The closest thing we might have is a replacement lock that comes with a couple sets of keys but we only sell those online. Otherwise, you would need to contact the manufacturer for a replacement key.
Customer: [few moments of silence] Well who's the manufacturer?
Me: The company who made the file cabinet, there should be a logo or company name on the front of it.
Customer: You don't know who the manufacturer is?
Me: It could be anybody. There's several different companies out there.
Customer: But you don't have that information?
Me: No.

I don't think I need to comment on that. The idiocy speaks for itself.