Monday, July 11, 2011

Pencils: An Equal Opportunity Employer


Pencils job applicant Charles Manson: Excellent
people and organizational skills; has anger issues
and not available to work weekends.
It seems nobody wants to answer the phone at Pencils. Chances are it's another stupid customer asking yet another stupid question. I recently answered a call from a young man who asked if the opening for the cashier position was still available. It wasn't the typical asinine inquiry... then I noticed my boss Matt consulting (i.e. ripping-off) a customer on the other end of the tech bench, so I saw my chance to stir the pot. I politely interrupted, which really pissed Matt off, then asked him, "Matt, there is a young man on the phone inquiring about the cashier's position. He wants to know if a manslaughter conviction would prevent him from getting the job. His father came at him with a pitchfork and he blew the guy's brains out with a shotgun in self-defense." Matt just stared at me, so I then asked him, "Should I tell him to fill out the application online?" The customer looked at me somewhat horrified. I told the young man on the phone to stop by the store and introduce himself to one of the managers. I also mentioned, "If you don't steal or smoke crack on the job, chances are you'll get hired."

2 comments:

  1. hey does pencils except competitors coupons? this should help the bottom line, better sell them service plans in bulk to make up the LOSS!

    http://dealnews.com/Staples-printable-coupon-50-off-any-tablet-laptop-or-desktop/480250.html

    JS RAGMAN

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  2. yes they do (except competitors coupons) even if it means the customer gets it for free had to deal with that a little while back on one of the dollar deals and man if all the little yuppie shits don't run up a smoke signal telling all their evil friends to come ONLY get the free item

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