Monday, July 11, 2011

Pencils: An Equal Opportunity Employer

Pencils job applicant Charles Manson: Excellent
people and organizational skills; has anger issues
and not available to work weekends.
It seems nobody wants to answer the phone at Pencils. Chances are it's another stupid customer asking yet another stupid question. I recently answered a call from a young man who asked if the opening for the cashier position was still available. It wasn't the typical asinine inquiry... then I noticed my boss Matt consulting (i.e. ripping-off) a customer on the other end of the tech bench, so I saw my chance to stir the pot. I politely interrupted, which really pissed Matt off, then asked him, "Matt, there is a young man on the phone inquiring about the cashier's position. He wants to know if a manslaughter conviction would prevent him from getting the job. His father came at him with a pitchfork and he blew the guy's brains out with a shotgun in self-defense." Matt just stared at me, so I then asked him, "Should I tell him to fill out the application online?" The customer looked at me somewhat horrified. I told the young man on the phone to stop by the store and introduce himself to one of the managers. I also mentioned, "If you don't steal or smoke crack on the job, chances are you'll get hired."


  1. hey does pencils except competitors coupons? this should help the bottom line, better sell them service plans in bulk to make up the LOSS!


  2. yes they do (except competitors coupons) even if it means the customer gets it for free had to deal with that a little while back on one of the dollar deals and man if all the little yuppie shits don't run up a smoke signal telling all their evil friends to come ONLY get the free item