A Dark Journey Into The Bowels of America's Corporate StupidStore and Other Commentary About The Absurdity of Life In A World Going To Hell
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Pencils: Sweat Equity
In what the marketing department will say is a corporate effort to "go green," Pencils' associates will say is yet another attempt by the bean-counters to add a few cents to the bottom line at the expense of the employees' comfort. What I'm referring to is the turning off of the air-conditioning 40 minutes prior to the store closing. If you're working in the downtown Anchorage, Alaska Pencils or store # 2630 in Bismarck, North Dakota during the summer months, I'm sure it's no big deal. But if your sorry ass is in any of the stores located in Florida, Arizona or Texas... watch out! The average night time temperature in South Florida is 80 degrees, add that to the heat generated by the indoor lighting and then the hot air generated by the managers, and it won't take long to feel a bit sticky. I've noticed several of the male employees waddling around like ducks just before closing, so I'm going to suggest we all pitch in and buy a case of Gold Bond Medicated Powder. Gold Bond's website says, "Gold Bond Powder is used to curb moisture, control odor, and soothe minor skin irritations, most notably jock itch." I'm thinking the "Extra Strength Powder" is the way to go. As for my female co-workers, I'm open to suggestions.