Thursday, July 7, 2011

Revenge Is A Dish Best Served Cold In A Pretzel Bowl

Tonight a customer purchased a HP Desktop that was on sale for $329. Matt, the tech manager, tried to sell him Microsoft Office, then Norton Security, then the Extended Service Plan. The customer wasn't falling for the bullshit sales rip-off, so Matt turned to me and said, "Go ring him out." As I'm at the register Mat comes over and is relentlessly going over his sales pitch, almost to the point I want to say, for the customers sake, "Shut the fuck up already with the extended service plan shit." As soon as the customer is out the door, Matt comes up to me and says, "Don't ever rush a customer through check-out when I'm trying to make a sale." Now I'm wondering if this guy is for real. He then asks me, "Do you know what a market basket is?" I want to respond, "Do you know what a fuckin' asshole is?", but answer, "Sir, yes sir!" Matt then says, "Your market basket was $6.99 for the pretzels the guy bought along with the computer." Later, while Matt is spending 30 minutes in the crapper, I'm able to convince a customer not to buy the Toshiba laptop on display but go purchase a MacBook at The Apple Store instead.


  1. Matt sounds like a real douche bag.

  2. Market Basket..
    They bitch at me about that one too.
    They set unrealistic goals on a market basket; $200 for my store. Which means I have to get the customer to buy $200 in extra shit when they buy a PC.
    Oh yeah, sell tons of shit and get like a $3 bonus check, what a great incentive, assholes.

  3. Okay, I have a question for you! I love the back to school sales at Pencils. I am a teacher, so I qualify to get 25 of the penny deals. This is not a secret, and Pencils has been doing this for years.

    When I got to my Pencils store on Sunday to get my 75 cents worth of goods, the employees were bitching and moaning that they were not going to make any money today.

    I assured them that there were over 30 carts ran by the sheep who will buy anything because their kids want it for school, not because they need it. I further explained that Pencils was not going broke because of me.

    Why do they have to lay all that on the customer??? I didn't make the rules, I didn't create the ad. What the hell??

    What is your take on it? From a customer point of view, it only makes me feel bad and makes me less inclined to go buy my $200 worth of extras next time I buy a laptop.


  4. dude ure awesome

  5. @katie. Despite what you think, most people are just in pencils for the penny items. we know this because we are there every day. We won't make or sales budget, but we will have heavy traffic in the store. If we don't hit our sales budget we will not get "hours" to staff the store. Then with no payroll hours, the store ends up a little messier than usual. Then the GM orDM will bitch at us. We're not mad at the customer. We are mad at the corporate office for not letting us staff our stores. I wish we could show you how all this is calculated so you would know how corporate is so hipocritical and unrealistic. Also after running these penny ads, we get bitched at for low profit margin. Lastly if you want a computer without a protection plan, go online because you are jeopardizing my job!

  6. Why didn't you put the computer in Matt's name? Sounds like he passed his $6.99 basket off on you.