A Dark Journey Into The Bowels of America's Corporate StupidStore and Other Commentary About The Absurdity of Life In A World Going To Hell
Monday, August 8, 2011
Jobs In Jeopardy?
I've heard through the grapevine that my buddy Daniel in upstate New York has a wager going with some of his friends. Apparently they are betting when Pencils will fire me. Well, I'm happy to report that I'm still being recognized as a valued employee. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case for the dreadlocked inventory manager, James, last week. The official word is he was shit-canned for boosting Sprites from the warehouse. The unofficial word is a lot more shit was disappearing than 1 liter bottles of soda. One of the feistier cashiers, Karen, was also let go (fired). When I asked Steve, a longtime Pencils associate, what the hell was going on, he replied, "We have people lined up for jobs here." I then reminded him 5 of the new 6 hires failed to show up for work this past week and one cashier never came back after taking her 15 minute break. All this goes back to my original theory: If you show up for work and don't steal, you have job security at Pencils... and that's saying something in today's economy. "Alex, I'll take shitty jobs for $200."