Friday, August 12, 2011

One Flew Over The Pencils Nest

I finally snapped. It may have been the 20th person to ask me, "Whur da baphrooms at?" or the hordes of screaming asshole kids buying school supplies. No matter, one mother took special offense to my "attitude" and accused me of accusing her whiny-ass daughter of stealing a pen from the check-out counter. I told her, "I'm not accusing your daughter of stealing... I'm accusing her of being an obnoxious, annoying brat." The mother had the potential of being a featured guest on the Jerry Springer show, and her comeback was, "You can take back all the shit in this cart and I'll go to Walmart!" What could I say? "Go ahead," I told her. Kenn, the MOD (manager on duty) had an earful by now and calmly informed me I could take-off early, which wasn't a big deal as it was five minutes past closing anyway.


7 comments:

  1. To the author: Any posts on the new VIBE policy where they completely eliminate customer service? Love to hear it...

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  2. Did you know the new VIBE policy is basically blown to bits? It not only counts all adults, but counts all the adult associates that work at pencils too. So therefore, if I am an associate and I do 5 carry outs in a day that is at least 7 times that the camera got me not buying anything. Including, one for coming in to sign in for the day and the other to sign out for the day. This system is seriously flawed!You have to account for the other 15-30 associates that work in the store to. That is 105 thru 210 times that there is nothing bought.

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  3. Back to school is a pain in the ass. OfficeBlows has penny deals and we get hordes of customers coming into our store looking for penny deals like Somalians looking for food from the UN.

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  4. VIBE is an absolute joke. As if I see some jackass walk frantically into the store, I'm supposed to drop a case of paper on my foot and run over to him and ask a bunch of idiotic questions.

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  5. VIBE will never work unless stores are given more hours and associates are paid more. In the videos there's a happy associate available for every customer that walks in.

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  6. VIBE is distilled from Apple's retail model. EXCEPT APPLE SELLS QUALITY TECHNOLOGY PRODUCTS, HAS A FUNCTIONAL LAYOUT AND ALWAYS HAS AT LEAST 20 EMPLOYEES IN THE STORE AT ONCE, NOT 5 UNDERPAID SUCKERS DOING THE WORK OF 15 EVERY SHIFT.

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  7. Typical Pencils OS associate duty list:
    Shift 3p to 9:30p
    Only OS on duty.
    NO overlapping associates due to low payroll.
    4 pallets of OS freight, 2 more Furniture, 2 of Tech and about 45 totes to work.
    Nightly Pull List, Recovery and Store cleaning (sweep/bathrooms/break room/mop if needed, etc..)
    Oh yes, since only 1 associate per department (see NO overlapping note above), it is OS associate's duty to help lone MOD cover everyone's breaks and lunches, plus somehow squeeze in your own.
    Throw in Vibe where you must stop, drop and grovel to every customer you see.

    All this for $7.25 or so an hour and you wonder why we have low motivated, disgruntled employees..
    (I always wondered what a 'gruntled' employee looks like....)

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