Sunday, August 21, 2011

Pencils' Madness

I've come to the conclusion that the best way for me to do my job at Pencils is to be thoroughly stoned. Corporate obviously acknowledges this because Pencils is one of the few companies that does not have a drug testing policy. My problem is: I haven't smoked reefer in over 30 years, but if there was something to drive me back to the "wacky weed", it would be my esteemed position as an EasyWreck Technician. Rarely am I allowed to actually "fix" a customer's computer, but regulated to stacking toner cartridges or helping out at the check-out counter. How many times can I ask, "Do you have a rewards card?" before I need to have a toke of some sensimilla to put my mind right?
One of the new office product associates has been running around the store like a bat out of hell, and I can only assume she is being aided by a "stimulant" of some sort. Personally, I'd prefer something to take the edge off. Worse case scenario, I can always take a whiff of something from the glue aisle.


  1. Dear Eraserhead,
    Sensimilla? Your age is showing!

  2. How 'bout the Wacky Tabacky!

  3. Do you have a rewards card?