Sunday, May 22, 2011

WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

Dazed and Confused
Today my neighbor Danny stopped by Pencils. I've known Danny since he was born, which has been 14 years, give or take a week or two. We've had a longstanding joke that I'm his biological father, something he would tell his classmates at the bus stop when I would occasionally drive by and offer him a dollar "for lunch money".  The fact that he looks more like me than his real father adds to the deception. Danny had the good sense today to ask the manager, Matt, if he could get the family discount, being that I'm his "biological dad". Danny told him he lives a few streets away from me with his mother and her husband. Later, Matt asked me what was up... I assumed he was referring to the question of paternity, and I told him that Danny's family was so dysfunctional, that the "father issue" was the least of his problems. Matt then inquired, "You mean his mother never asked you for a DNA test?" I told him that she had two other children, and she didn't want to open up a can of worms. I then added, "She never asked me for child support either. Not that I could afford it given my salary at Pencils."

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